Protecting Your Peace During Bandi Chhor Divas and Diwali

Festivals like Bandi Chhor Divas and Diwali are rich with spiritual symbolism, cultural meaning, and collective celebration. For many within Sikh and Hindu communities, this season marks light over darkness, freedom over oppression, and divine presence over despair. But behind the fireworks, lights, and family gatherings, there’s often a quieter, unspoken truth: not everyone feels joyful during the festivals. And that's okay. As a Counselling Psychologist, I invite you to hold space for both celebration and self-preservation. This is a gentle reminder that you can honour the deeper meaning of these days while still protecting your peace.

Start With Intention, Not Obligation

Before you get swept into cleaning, decorating, shopping, or hosting, take a moment to reflect: Why do I celebrate Bandi Chhor Divas or Diwali? Is it simply because it’s tradition—something you’ve always done? Or do you connect with its deeper meaning of inner light, renewal, and hope? Bringing awareness to why you’re celebrating can shift your experience from autopilot to intentional living.  Let your celebration be guided by that intention, not by expectation.

Let Celebration Reflect Capacity, Not Comparison

It’s easy to feel like you’re falling short when everyone else’s home looks festive, social calendars are full, and social media is filled with curated moments of joy. But you don’t need to celebrate like everyone else to honour the day. Maybe your way of celebrating this year is small, slow, or private—and that’s enough. Your capacity matters more than the performance. Ask yourself: What feels meaningful to me this year? What can I realistically hold without burnout, guilt, or resentment? Festivals are meant to lift you, not deplete you.

Grief and Joy Can Coexist

Festivals often stir up memories—some beautiful, others painful. Whether you’re grieving a loved one, navigating strained relationships, or simply feeling disconnected from the spirit of the day, know this: You can hold both sadness and joy. You can laugh in one moment and cry in the next. You can light a candle for someone you miss while still holding space for hope. This is not a contradiction—it’s a gentle truth that emotions aren’t fixed, and you’re allowed to move through many states in a single day.

Set Boundaries That Honour Your Peace

Bandi Chhor Divas and Diwali often come with social obligations such as visits, phone calls, family dynamics, and expectations. It’s okay to say no. You are allowed to choose how much you engage and when you need to protect your energy. Some helpful boundary phrases are:

• “I’m celebrating quietly this year.”

• “I’d love to connect, but I need to take it slow today.”

• “I won’t be attending, but I’m sending warm wishes.”

You are not less loving for choosing rest. Boundaries are not walls—they are doorways to self-respect.

Return to the Core Meaning

At their heart, Bandi Chhor Divas and Diwali are about liberation and light. Bandi Chhor Divas reminds us of freedom—not just from prisons, but from the emotional and mental chains we carry. Diwali invites us to find light even in the darkest corners of our inner world. So ask yourself: What do I need to release or liberate myself from this year? What kind of light do I want to nurture within? Let your practices reflect this inner journey—whether it’s through prayer, journaling, meditation, listening to shabads/kirtan, or simply sitting in quiet reflection.

You Deserve a Festival That Nourishes You

You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to force joy. You don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations. This season, give yourself permission to feel, to pause, to protect your peace.

Whether your celebration looks like a full house or a single candle…
Whether it involves grand rituals or a quiet moment of breath…
Whether you're surrounded by others or sitting with yourself in stillness…

You are still honouring the light.
And that light—your inner peace—is worth protecting.

In the noise of the world, may you always find your way back to your light.

Share this with someone who might need a gentle reminder that it’s okay to slow down, honour their capacity, and celebrate in their own way.

Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and should not be interpreted as a substitute for professional advice.